The state of Internet access in Australia.

If anyone is seriously considering moving to Australia and regularly uses the Internet to stay connected, be prepared for some serious head-scratching. As I eluded to in my last post, Internet in Australia is ludicrously expensive for what you get, and with the average Aussie consumer as complacent as they are, extremely confusing to sort out how to effectively not get ripped off any more than you have to. Trust me, if you're coming from Canada, you're going to get seriously hosed here.

The first thing to know is all you need to know about Internet in Australia is on Whirlpool. No, not the white-goods appliance company, Whirlpool Forums. Here you will find reviews, discussions, statictics, and most importantly offered plan comparisons. But even with this information, choosing an Internet provider and plan can be a daunting task. Do they split the bandwidth between peak and off-peak hours? What are those hours? Do they count uploads? Do you have to commit to a contract? What happens if you exceed bandwidth limits? Do they support churning? (Basically a fast, cheap/free way to switch between supporting ISPs) What are the setup costs? (If no churn option.) Do you/should you consider bundling with telephone and/or mobile? Should you consider a naked connection? (No land-line rental) Those last two and the counting uploads are serious gotchas to watch out for. Counting uploads effectively halves your limit if you plan to use stuff like MSN Messenger/Skype or VOIP, or play games online where uploads pretty closely match downloads. Bundling can often be an attractive option, but don't let it distract you because it often comes with some of the more vile excess usage charges/conditions. Naked connections are more expensive but save you from having to pay for a land-line if you're content to use mobiles. (Also damned expensive here though.) Personally though, I think this does limit your options to change because I don't know if/how churning works if you're on a Naked connection, (Setup charges when you change ISPs without Churn will easily eat any savings unless you commit to long-term contracts which add penalties for changing as well.) and sitting on hold with ISP support alone when your connection goes dead will eat your mobile allowance real fast.

Believe me, there are some doosies of a bear-trap out there that ISPs set out to snare you; I have difficulty believing they can possibly be legal.

For example, most respectable ISPs will have a policy that if you have a limit of (n)GB per month and exceed that limit, your connection will be "shaped" down to effectively dialup speed until the next billing period starts. Often they'll give you the option to buy additional blocks of bandwidth by the GB, usually between $5-10/GB. And then there are others, such as Optus, one of the major Telco's in Australia, which will give you a limit, then charge you $150/GB should you exceed that limit. (That's no typo. One Hundred and Fifty dollars per GB) Their policies are changing all of the time, but at one point I believe they would charge you automatically for up to 2GB excess usage, then shape you down to dialup speed. That's an extra $300 "Surprise!" on your monthly ISP bill if your kid figures out how to torrent a movie one day.

One ISP bases their whole business model around this kind of rip-off. Dodo Internet. They advertise the bargain-basement of Internet. $20 a month, in which they give you a gracious 500MB (with the recent additon of 3GB of off-peak allowance if used between the hours of 1am-1pm.) 500MB a month is effectively enough to do little more than check e-mails. Exceed that limit and you're hit with a whopping $180/GB excess usage charge! Not all in one go, this is supposed to be a subtle rip-off. You're charged $0.18 per MB until you reach a cap of $70, at which point you're effectively cut off unless you purchase and additional 2-25GB block effective *only* until the remainder of the current billing period for $10-30.

So doing the math, you pay $20 for 500MB, then are forced to pay $0.18/MB until you hit $70. ($50 / $0.18 =~275MB) at which point you can buy 2GB for $10 (half a cent a MB) So, paying $70/mo with Dodo, you don't even get 1GB of useful bandwidth, where $70/mo with TPG will give you 100GB peak, plus 100GB off-peak, and shaped with no extra cost should you exceed that. That is, if you're silly enough to get conned into the cheapest option without realizing that 500MB on ADSL2+ can be eaten in a couple weeks of browsing, forget about downloading movies or playing games online. (Measure it in Days then.)

Yet the twisted thing is that PEOPLE HERE BUY THIS CRAP!

Expect to spend a good few days sifting through the data on Whirlpool before selecting an ISP. Don't trust the advice of Aussies about plans, especially the older generations because they have been thoroughly fleeced and mused into accepting this nonsense, with matching blinders to keep from being distracted by that annoying competition thing.

But in choosing an ISP, also be wary of anything too good to be true, especially with new entries into the ISP market. Many offer great deals and get you hooked into a contract, then try and use their member list as bait for a buy-out or sell-off down the road. You end up getting reeled into a bigger ISP with far less favorable conditions, and a hassle to find a new ISP. (Fool me once...)

My personal recommendation right now? TPG. They offer some of the best bandwidth limits per $, and no nasty hidden surprises. They also (currently) do not count uploads. (a trend soon disappearing I fear.) Probably the only significant downside is that like most ISPs now, they don't accept BPay. Essentially this means they auto-bill your credit card, which means another headache and series of long phone calls when they inevitably cock things up. Internode was also pretty good, but more expensive for what you get, especially if you're not looking for the flashest of speed and bandwidth quotas.

The ones not even worth considering? Dodo obviously, but also the major telcos. (Optus/Telstra) Surprisingly these have probably the largest number of subscribers, but average at least twice as expensive as quality competitors. Ironic, coming from Canada where the Telcos offer some of the best value for money as an ISP, but when I talked to Telstra upon ariving in Australia, my reaction to what they considered a "competitive" plan was "You can't be serious." I didn't need Whirlpool to smell that con.